Keeping it Real : Blogging Fail

When I felt like I should start this blog, I was filled with excitement but also fear and doubt. With our biggest relocation yet just weeks away, I was afraid that I would fail at continuing something I viewed as a personal commitment and become just another good-intention-turned-failure. So I developed a solution. I would do something easy. I would begin by posting 16 blogs on the book “Lies Young Women Believe” – a book I cannot recommend enough (I learned just as much if not more than the group as I led some Jr. High School girls through it) – but this happened to be a book I already had typed notes for last year, thus making the goal to blog weekly attainable and something I could prepare ahead of the move.

 But as I sat down to type them, it felt forced, awkward and blah. The messages that had been so powerful to myself and the girls in the group just months ago felt out of place now. I resolved that God would guide me and put on my heart when and what to write and signed off the blog.

 That Sunday, our Pastor began talking –

“Sometimes when life changes, we try to go back to what we knew and do what we used to do to get what we used to get…and in this new season that we’re in – what we used to do doesn’t work anymore. This is really true for people spiritually. People complain and they want to encounter God like they used to. They think ‘We used to sing Shout to the Lord, why don’t we sing Shout to the Lord anymore? The last time we sang Shout to the Lord God was there and I encountered Him and it was so powerful.’  This is what God was fighting with Israel all the time about. They were taking an unchanging God and trying to make Him go back to what He did yesterday for them to encounter Him today, but He’s not doing it. He is not going back to do today what He did yesterday because, if He did that, then we would worship the encounter instead of the God of the encounter.”

 

The Message translation of Galatians 3:3 puts it this way – “Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God’s Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren’t smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!” 

And the Message translation of Romans 9:30 puts it this way “…And Israel, who seemed so interested in reading and talking about what God was doing, missed it. How could they miss it? Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed in what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their “God projects” that they didn’t notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. And so they stumbled into him and went sprawling. Isaiah (again!) gives us the metaphor for pulling this together:

Careful! I’ve put a huge stone on the road to Mount Zion,     a stone you can’t get around. But the stone is me! If you’re looking for me,     you’ll find me on the way, not in the way.”

This experience combined with the truth in these messages convicted me on a few things:

  1. I had developed a form of Idolatry. I was so excited about all I had learned from the study in the past that I was more fixated on the encounters and understanding I had back then than on God…who is more concerned about doing something new today.
  2. I was lacking Faith and Trust and it was hindering my obedience. I needed to intentionally choose to have faith and trust that “He who began a good work” in me would “carry it out into completion (Phil 1:6).” God gave me a call to do something, so why was I trying to figure out how I could accomplish it on my own without Him?
  3. Last but not least, I had begun to let my Pride try to fix everything. When my doubt (lack of faith) and fear of failure crept in, my pride stepped in to try and prevent failure, which is how I made a plan to pre-write blogs from that prior study.

I used to be so afraid of conviction, like I didn’t want to have everything wrong. But these days I am more willing to endure the embarrassment from them because I much prefer the benefit of being corrected and guided to truth and right thinking than to remain foolishly stumbling off the path God wants me to walk. While this is quite humbling to share on the internet, I needed to share it because so often we can get a glimpse of something God wants us to get involved in yet forget that

A TASK GOD CALLS YOU TO ACT ON CANNOT BE DONE EFFECTIVELY APART FROM HIM IF HIS PURPOSES ARE TO BE ACCOMPLISHED.

I am so thankful that God’s Word acted like a mirror for my heart (James 1:23-25) because without being convicted on these things I would essentially have little bits of idolatry, pride, and lack of faith stuck in my teeth like lettuce. 😉 So…have I been able to blog once a week? Haha – NO. But was I reminded of a truth worth sharing? Definitely…and I think that is much more beneficial I hope!

Whatever He calls us to do, we must remember to continue trusting Him because, despite the obstacles or challenges we see ahead, what seems “impossible for man is possible with God”(Luke 18:27).

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